First of all, I seriously hate going back to the village from where my father came. You'll see why in a second.
I had to go back to Kampung Kuala Rui, Perak, (where most of the family from my father's side live) to attend my cousin's or my father's cousin's wedding (I can't tell the difference anymore). I think she's my cousin.
Anyways, we got there at about 8.30a.m. and witnessed all the err ... "fun". Like most Chinese pre-weddings, they have to go through all those weird traditions. The bridegroom's party arrived at the house and had to go through the - what did they call it? - the "Three Obstacles" or something. And then - this is the fun part - the bridegroom had to fulfill all sorts of ridiculous requests from the bunch of girls in the room with the bride or else the bridegroom will not be allowed to see her. These requests included gulping down a quarter bottle's chilli sauce, sing a love song and twenty push-ups. Not forgetting the RM10,000 cash, though I doubt they were serious about this.
And then came the tea ceremony. And the couple gave out angpaus. The bridegroom's family recieved angpaus, too, but it was torture to try not to burst out laughing when the bridegroom's family asked what were they suppose to do with the angpaus. Oh well, they're from the Phillipines, so I guess our traditions might seem a bit strange.
The bad part about all these is that a guy and girl was talking to me and I didn't know who they were. Until I asked. They happened to be my cousins. Can you say "awkward"? And then I remembered. The girl's in my year and only a few months younger than me and the guy was her older brother. I don't remember much about the guy but I remembered I used to play with the girl a lot when I was younger. Much, much younger. When I lived with my grandmother because my mom was studying in the US.
Well, you can imagine my shock when the memories came rushing back. She's grown to be so good-looking now and is studying in a private school. And I don't even need to ask - a straight-A student. I also met my other cousin brother with his Japanese girlfriend (one of my older cousin brothers on my mom's side got a Japanese girlfriend, too. Hmm ... weird coincidence), his older sister with her husband and my nephew (cute kid, but I don't think I want to be called "uncle" yet) and a whole lot of people I only know by face (unfortunately, because I need to greet them when I see them. Good manners, see?).
Then came the wedding dinner at the village basketball court (most special events take place here) and as per usual for kampung food, it was delicious. No restaurant in Penang can match a mass-produced home-cooked meal. The entertainment was singing. Old people singing old songs. Not much, but someone who shares my surname and who I've never met before was quite good. Ater the dinner, we started on another an hour-and-half journey home.
Do you see why I hate going back there now? Even though it feels so close to Heaven? It's because of that that I don't want to go back there! Everytime I'm there, I never mix around. I keep myself to myself. But being there, you can't not mix. They are my family after all. But that's just it. When I start to feel comfortable, I never want to leave again! I like the feeling that I'm not alone, you see? My surname is not as common as "Tan" or "Lim", see? To see a family-gathering of nearly a hundred-strong sharing my own surname is very overwhelming. At school or outside in Penang, I have no one. There might be a handful sharing my surname but most of their's are written differently in Chinese, so we're not from the same clan.
My title says "Both Worlds". The second world is of my mother's. Her family are pure Penangites. City people. They are the exact opposite of my father's family, who are all rough and gangster-like (although I note that they never swear when they speak. Even when they're angry). My mom's side of the family are all softer and more refined. And since I've been living here for almost my whole life and have been communicating with my mother's side more, it's no wonder I find it hard to mix in with the rowdy crowd back at the village.
Why do I have to be born in between two very, very opposite worlds? I despise my ancestry but also at the same time, I can't help liking it. Even though I have a freakishly huge family on my father's side, I like my surname. Because over here, in the city, it's the only thing that sets me out from others. It's so nice to know that my surname is so rare and special. I can still see my teachers from primary school read my name with great interest, although the exam scores that came after weren't so satisfying.
Oh, yeah, I also like to note that the cousins (girls especially) on my father's side of the family seem taller compared to the most I meet here. The cousin I mentioned is still a couple of inches shorter than me but still ...
Maybe it's a Penangite trademark. Or we're just weird that way.
